Welcome, I am Nicoletta, a Person-centred counsellor and Emotion Focused Therapist and registered member of British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists with 20 years' clinical experience.
I was born in Italy and have lived in Italy, UK and the US. For the most part of those 20 years I have worked and still work in the Counselling departments of universities in the UK, offering one to one therapy sessions, groups and psychoeducational workshops to students as well as training in Mental Health to staff.
I have also facilitated women groups for many years with women from all over the world both in person and online.
I would describe my practice as integrative as I have also trained in Gestalt, Mindfulness based counselling and Transpersonal Psychology at Naropa University, Boulder CO, PACT couple therapy (a fusion of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation) and as a Tantra embodiment and Sexual Awakening for Women coach with Shakti Malan. I bring all of the above and many other modalities to the therapeutic encounter together with my own journey of becoming.
I see the therapeutic relationship as a collaborative practice happening in the co-created field between client and therapist and therapy as a journey to encounter the whole of you, especially the exiled parts of self, with compassion and acceptance so that they can be integrated towards wholeness. As you are met, attuned to, received, and validated in the whole of who you are by another you move towards wholeness. Therapy is not a journey to fix yourself or becoming a different, more acceptable version of yourself, it is in fact a gentle unfolding and revelation of the most authentic and full being that you already are.
I have dedicated the last decade to researching the experience of Silence, which I identify as an inner experience of a progressive or sudden loss of connection to our Self, Voice, self-expression and agency in life and relationships. Particularly in connection with relational trauma, early attachment wounds of misattunement, invalidation, abandonment, neglect and re-traumatisation in intimate partnerships.
The Sirens' Voice is the result of long years of enquiry and inner work, research and professional development in psychotherapy theory and spiritual practice informed by extensive clients' work with thousands of women individually and in groups, in many settings and countries. It is born out of a desire to create a space for sharing my work, resources and writing with other women in the world that resonate with the experience of Silence I refer to, feel an inner calling to engage at depth in the process of retrieving their Voice and have a desire for community.
There was a time in my life when I felt that calling, when I became painfully aware that I was not fully living or expressing my full self, that there were unexplored parts of me, that I still had not become the woman I was both scared to be and yearned to be. Something in me, as in many women nowadays, felt an overwhelming longing and could no longer ignore the call to meet the power of the deep divine feminine.
In search of a deeper integration of my deepest parts I worked and apprenticed with Shamanic practitioners, Tantra teachers of the Dakini and Yogini lineage, I engaged in women circles of embodiment practices, feminine archetypal work and mystery schools.
Our connection to our feminine embodied primal life force and erotic energy, identified with Shakti in the Tantric tradition, is so elusive for many of us yet it is our birth right and the portal to the exquisite realms of the Divine Feminine in us and around us, it is the force that through desire creates and manifests everything into being.
As I reclaimed myself, my life went through profound and often painful transformations and the inevitable loss of what was no longer aligned with my evolving truth. One of the most painful transitions and catalyst for growth at once was the end of my marriage. The loss of a relationship and uncoupling is by nature a painful process but when it results in unexpected and painful realisations, events, experiences and wounding that re-stimulate older wounds it can have traumatic effects on our well-being. Yet, as a therapist I have learned how a crisis is always also an opportunity, something that disrupts our habitual patterns and calls us to see, to re-evaluate, to change. It can be the pivotal moment of a profound commitment to our journey of self-healing and self-bonding to stop ourselves from repeating old cycles of self-abandonment and create new and healthier relational patterns.
If you are ready to create a life of loving and meaningful relationships to self and others, share your Voice in creative and fulfilling ways whatever your dharma is, engage with the world in an intentional and committed way I will be honoured to serve you.
I am here to share all I have learned to facilitate your own journey of reclaiming your Voice, Self, Joy, Beauty, Sexuality, Life.
The Sirens' Voice is the result of long years of enquiry and inner work, research and professional development in psychotherapy theory and spiritual practice informed by extensive clients' work with thousands of women individually and in groups, in many settings and countries. It is born out of a desire to create a space for sharing my work, resources and writing with other women in the world that resonate with the experience of Silence I refer to, feel an inner calling to engage at depth in the process of retrieving their Voice and have a desire for community.
As a Woman who has gone through her sacred and initiatory journey of retrieval, I’m here to hold space for your own journey. I will sit with you in the fire of transformation, gently support your unfolding and share with you all I have learned to move forward in a self-compassionate and fiercely courageous way.
"In the dark, you find yourself"
© Nicoletta Abbate
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Logo by Alessia Abbate @tildamilla
Painting "Siren" by ChieYoshii.com . Thank you Chie for your kind permission!